Umm I'm too high to move.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
