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I have demons in me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sext me about skeletons
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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