areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
