You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
