are you so shy because you have an std?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize