It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
