Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
