i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize