my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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