Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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