are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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