Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you win again, gameday.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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