Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
