Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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