Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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