Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
