Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are we still banned from the library?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
