i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
