great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
