Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
