About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
