I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
