The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
