"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
