My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
