guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
