dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
