things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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