That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
