Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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