I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
