My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
