Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
