You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
