I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize