I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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