If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
