Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
