Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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