Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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