his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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