Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
