i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
