he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize