can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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