I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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