I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
