you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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