i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
