if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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