I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
