Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize