I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
