Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
