I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
