break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
