That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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