Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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