It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
