im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
