He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize