just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
