careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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