It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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