she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
