I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
