you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
