Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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