I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
