that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
