my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize