Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
