Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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