i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
