seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
